My way weaves and sways and dips when my confidence is low.
In two days I will toe the line at a race that I attempted one year ago. This race could easily turn into a yearly test of my fitness: weaknesses and strengths. So I am weary of the test and its results.
Am I slipping backward? Is my age finally catching up with me? Did I not work hard enough, loving comfort? Was all the work this year worth it? The thoughts get tangled in my mind along with the emotions and fears. Am I in denial? Or will I have a breakthrough?
This is test anxiety as a 39-year-old.
My son searched for the last location to place his Rummikub tile in order to win the game. He thought it was hopeless. On the precipice of him giving up, I blurted out, "You can win." His dark horizon flashed with light. There was hope and he searched with confidence. He was going to search until he found the combination needed to take the win. Nothing had changed at that moment but my declaration of possibility. He went from no confidence in winning to full confidence in winning. I gave the vote of confidence because I saw the path to victory.
What can confidence do in a person's life?
It can open up doors.
It can give renewed strength.
It can make the journey less painful.
As I ran with a training partner and friend last Thursday, I shared my need for confidence. I need someone, whom I believe, to say, "You can win." I need someone in my life that when I don't see any hope, they can declare an open path to victory.
I am thankful for the role I play in my husband's, children's, friends', and athletes' lives where I can instill confidence. Now it is my turn to hear those around me who are declaring my open path to victory.
Putting aside fear I embrace this opportunity to run without restraint and instead with hope and confidence.
If you are looking for more confidence in your running, considering working with me as your coach.