An example:

My Daughter is a Runner

Here starts my chronicling of my daughter’s high school athletic journey. The ins and outs of each day, our discussions, our surprises, and our disappointments all scribed here. I don’t want to lose this moment, each moment. They are precious, touchable, and real. Here is a peek into her growth, not because of where she will go but how she goes along. It is not the end that matters but the journey on the path. The path is foggy and completely individually unknown.

I won’t start backward. Just start with today.

FYI, I’m not her coach. It is good that way. I am only a runner mom. She doesn’t believe that I really ever experienced the same as her, except when I pull out the keepsakes, and she asks me my PRs. I wasn’t fast, but she hasn’t smashed my PRs yet.

August 26, 2023

34th mile of the week. Her favorite workout of the season (4 min, 3 min, 2 min, 1 min, 1 min. until you pull out.)

She has new racing shoes to try out during a workout. Her older brother claimed they are a must-have. Nike has got to be making big money off of the insect Dragonfly. She chose the flashy colors and sized up because Binsfeld's feet are wide. They have a special place in her bedroom, laid out on the race bag on the shelf. She stares at them while lying on her bed. Next to the shelf is a painted chalkboard wall with the St. Olaf race course (the last XC state course she raced and the upcoming 1st race course of the new season). She is a racer. “Don’t talk about the race until the day before, Mom. I will get too excited.” She is a gamer with strategy. She likes running in front. She likes winning. She was in second place at the track section’s 2-mile race last season, with the third-place girl nipping at her heels. Her body language was defeated. First place was 100 meters ahead. On the 4th lap, I told her she was winning. She was strong. She was IN CONTROL. She literally shook her head and took off. Her lap pace lowered by 4 seconds, and she ran like the winner. It gained her a spot on the state starting line a week later.

It is those moments when you share a thought, instruction, or belief with your daughter, and she internalizes and runs with it. That is the legacy that is passed down from generation to generation. It is not the 401K or cabin. It is understanding her well and using the gained life wisdom to touch those essential moments of her life.

Back to today. She wanted to hit 35 miles this week (6 days running and one day rest). As she exited the car before practice, I reminded her that the weekly mileage was not the priority this morning. The workout and trying the new Dragonflys are most important. She had already completed the goal of running at the 35-mile week rate and that the magic number of 7 days in a week doesn’t matter. Also, the whole fact that our number system is based on sets of ten and that five is just half of ten doesn’t make 35 any more special than 33 or 34, or 36. Just get the quality miles in and do your workouts well.

So the shoes. The plan was to run the 4- and 3 min intervals with the shoes on. Then switch back to her trainers for the rest of the workout. The test is how they felt during the workout and the impacts on her muscles and joints over the next 24 hours. Well, those special shoes made her pacing way fast. She said something like 6 minutes was really 5:45s. Great, she is using them correctly. Landing well, I hope. I don’t get to watch practices, which is for the best. I don’t want to be her coach. She must learn to talk with an authority figure and share her ups and downs, plans, and hopes. My place is on the side. My place is to give her the tools to train herself. If she can read her body well, she can climb higher.

Oh, I must tell you her goal philosophy. She says it is what the Olympians say. Yes, she has had the opportunity to connect with Biathlon Olympians. She has internalized what they had said, too. “Make high goals and work hard to get there.” Something like that. And so she did. She knows her goals are high (I think they are reachable.) and wants to work hard to get there. I am debating on whether to reveal them to you now. I think it would be best to let you know when she reaches them. Those are the outcome goals. The process goals are good to share now.

#1 Sleep 8 hours a night (remember she is in high school, honors classes, and trying to balance work and fun as a teenager)

#2 Weekly mileage (This one is a little harder because the girls on her team don’t run the mileage she does, and she can’t run many miles with them. And the boys sometimes run too many miles for her.)

#3 I forgot. I need to ask again.

My runner mom's philosophy to stay sane and patient-

#1 Don’t memorize their PRs (That is not what matters)

#2 Be at every race (My family wasn’t)

#3 Talk about it when they bring it up

#4 Don’t make decisions for them. Share options and let them choose their path.

#5 Equal their effort with opportunity.

*Don’t tell her you read this. She’s a teen. Almost everything I do embarrasses her.

Shelly Binsfeld

Running Coach in Minnesota

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