An example:

Worlds, Goals, and Surprises

This post is part of a series. Check out the first posting for the backstory.

She found out that I wrote the blog post. I forgot that she subscribed back in 2019 when I often blogged. So she woke to the posting in her email the next day. She wasn’t upset. “Oh, Mom, it is just you writing.” I took her to several hanging photos in the house where she was the focal point and reminded her of the value of me capturing that everyday moment and keeping it forever. A week later, she asked if I had written another posting. I asked her to unsubscribe.

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Track and Field World Championships in Budapest finished up last weekend. She had recorded all the broadcasts and often pulled me to the couch to watch with her. She knew the big names and had opinions on who should win. In each race, she would critique the race strategy or technique of the runners. And if I picked up my phone in distraction, I would be called on to watch and pay attention. Curiously, this is what I asked of her for years, and now she is asking it from me. She likes to dissect the race and racers. She understands what they are trying to do. I think her reading a book by Lauren Fleshman this summer gave her another level of understanding. Fleshman’s book Good for a Girl tells the back story of training and competing with great detail. These racers on the screen now are more human to my daughter. More real to her. (Recommend the book for every girl/woman runner and any coach that trains girls/women. Go beyond Fleshman’s story and understand the system that forces girls/women to perform in a man’s world.)

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The first race of the season was this past Thursday. My daughter selected a stretch goal of top 20 (you get a top 20 t-shirt). I reminded her the evening before that her life would not change if she ended the race in the top 20 or not. Life would still go on the same, either way. Her motivation to succeed is internal and needs no support. She raced and got her t-shirt, saying it worked to have big goals. It wasn’t a goal that she came to lightly. She researched past results to find what it would take to get 20th place and knew how to race the course.

Belief in herself, well, that always needs support. We were back at the same course the following evening to watch her college brother race. During the women’s race, we had an extra minute near the start line when no one was there. I pulled her over to the line, faced her forward, and looked her in the eye. I said, “You can beat anyone that puts their foot on this line. ANYONE.” Her face and whole being lit up, fully bright. She knew I wasn’t saying she had to or would be the best. But I believe in her and whatever she believes she is capable of. She doesn’t need to fear those girls that “look” fitter, or more confident, or have tighter shorts, are from more prominent schools, or are more “pretty”. My words told her that it is what is inside that matters and that her insides can make her a winner.

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Ready for the surprise? I wasn’t. Well, I have another runner son (I have two now). I didn’t realize my third son was ready to use his talent and summer training to drop 2.5 minutes off his 5K PR (his last 5K XC race was two years ago). The summer 2x weekly roller skiing long practices, 3x weekly running practices, plus six days of Rocky Mountain National Park hiking/running, and a 1/2 marathon must have gotten his body fit. Plus, being with a fall xc team of boys who are inclusive, encouraging, and daily running gave him a chance to pull it all together and take his running fitness to a new level. Thankfully, XC races often run on trails through the woods, where he is energized and fulfilled. I hope that he continues to appreciate running and gives himself an excellent foundation for the Nordic ski season.

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See you next week. I am sure there will be new stories to write about. If you have any yourself, write me. I am always curious.

This post is part of a series. Check out the first posting for the backstory.

Shelly Binsfeld

Running Coach in Minnesota

Optimize your Hard Work in an Intelligent Way